Bins of the stars

…with Dareth Binn—The Bin Man

Evenin' bin fans. Welcome to "Bins of the stars" with me, Dareth Binn, trawling the dustbins, recycling boxes and septic tanks of the rich and famous! If they throw it out, I'll find it. Just remember, “You heard it here first! Don't tell no one!”

Found!
Pete Doherty is famous for his crack cocaine and smack habit but did you know that he has another, less well known hobby? No, you didn’t. After rumaging through the bins round the back of his bedsit in Camden, London, I found pile upon pile of discarded cassette tapes—turns out Mr. Doherty fancies himself as a bit of a musician.

You heard it here first! Don’t tell no one!

Found!
You might think that newsreader Huw Edwards is a honest, no skelingtons in his closest kind of guy. But you’d be wrong! After rummaging through the bins behind his central London mansion I found the following items: A leek, a red dragon, lava bread, a rugby ball and nice bit of lamb. That’s right! Turns out the fucker’s Welsh! What’s he doing on the BBC?!? Last time I checked it was the BRITISH Broadcasting Cooperation.

You heard it here first! Don’t tell no one!

Found!
Tit model and award winning novelist Katie “Jordan” Price likes to think of herself as role model for girls and a loving wife to her husband, all round nice guy Peter “Lotsa Abdominal Muscle” Andre. But she hides a secret that could destroy her marriage and her credibility amongst the literary establishment. After rummaging though the bins round the back of her Essex country house, I found some old pictures of her from the late 1990s—her famous massive tits are nowhere to be found! Turns out she had implants installed around the beginning of the millenium. Her massive tits aren’t real at all! I’m sure if Peter Andre found out he’d turf her out pronto and also be gutted and devestated.

You heard it here first! Don’t tell no one!

Found!
A big, black dildo; a copy of “Well Gay” magazine; a cassette tape of “The Pet Shop Boys” and pile upon pile of well thumbed copies of “Shut That Door” the Larry Grayson Story in the bins behind Tom Cruise’s Worcester flat.

That’s right! When it comes to proper seperation of rubbish, Tom doesn't know his arse from his elbow! You can’t put rubber in a blue recylcling bin you fucking muppet Cruise! I hope the council come down hard on him. He should be taken out and shot if you ask me!

You heard it here first! Don’t tell no one!

That’s all from me, Dareth Binn—The Bin Man. Remember, if you find anything interesting in any celeb’s bin, keep your fucking hands off you filthy cunt or I’ll fucking knife you.

You heard it here first! Don’t tell no one!